Music is my everything.
After my parents died when I was a kid, moving into my grandparents' ramshackle house on a dirt road in Amarillo seemed like a nightmare. Until I stumbled upon my grandfather's shed full of instruments. My soul lives between the strings of Oz, my secondhand fiddle, and it soars when I play.
In Houston, I'm a typical college student on my way to becoming a classically trained violinist headed straight for the orchestra pit. But on the road with my band, Leaving Amarillo, I'm free.
We have one shot to make it, and I have one shot to live the life I was meant to. Leaving Amarillo got into Austin MusicFest, and everything is riding on this next week. This is our moment.
There's only one problem. I have a secret . . . one that could destroy everyone I care about.
His name is Gavin Garrison and he's our drummer. He's also my brother's best friend, the one who promised he'd never lay a hand on me. He's the one person I can't have, and yet he's the only one I want.
One week. One hotel room. I don't know if I can do this.
I just know that I have to.
"What's your dream?" I could hear that guy from Pretty Woman calling these words while I read this book, over and over again. "What's your dream?" So, I ask you, dear reader, what's your dream? Do you remember? Are you still dreaming? I think if you read some Caisey Quinn, you might just remember; you might remember what it's like to have that feeling, that pull inside of you toward something bigger. If you've forgotten what it felt like to open up your heart and dream big, then open up Leaving Amarillo and remember.
In Leaving Amarillo, we meet Dixie Lark (I love this name, btw), small town Texas girl who wants nothing more than to make it big playing her fiddle in an slightly off-center country band. I call them "off center," because I can't call them offbeat without making them sound like they suck, right? Offbeat musicians? Not a compliment. Off center musicians, yes! "Leaving Amarillo" is the name of the band that Dixie is in with her brother Dallas, and their childhood friend (and Dallas' best friend), Gavin Garrison, and they're not your typical country band. They like traveling to other genres and bringing them over to the country side; they play covers of pop, rap, and other styles of music in their own country way. It's pretty cool, actually, but I digress. Dixie wants nothing more than to escape the orchestra pit of her prestigious, college music program and to hit the highway with her band. The only thing she might want more is Gavin Garrison, and he's the one thing she can't have--or so she thinks.
See, Dixie's brother, Dallas, is pretty protective. Sure, it's a little overbearing sometimes, but once I learned their back-story, I found it (mostly) endearing. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a protective big brother. Somewhere along the line, Dallas decided that he needed to protect little Dixie from Gavin, and he's made Gavin swear to keep his paws to himself. Only problem is that Dixie's not so little anymore, and the girl goes after what she wants. So, if you're Gavin Garrison, hot, tatted-up drummer and heartbreaker extraordinaire, you ought to watch out for her because she's a powerhouse.
Here's what I love about Dixie and one thing that I think Caisey Quinn does so well: Dixie is a girl who may be afraid of the world, self-doubting and scared to jump with the big kids, but most of the time (and especially when it comes to Gavin), she puts her big-girl pants on and screams, "Geronimo!" Come Hell or high water, Dixie is going to lay it all out there and see what happens. I've seen this quality in a few of Caisey Quinn's other characters, and it's one of the things that keeps me coming back for more. There's a sense of desperation, yes, a "What if I lose this because I never spoke up?," but there's also so much strength in these female characters of hers. We see it in Dixie, not just in her relationship with Gavin, but later, when she's given up something huge, and some rather extreme emotional circumstances make her wonder what's next for her. Dixie's got her own little Odyssey going, and I can't wait to see where the road she's chosen takes her. I wonder if eventually, it will lead her back home, and I wonder how differently home will look should she ever get back to it. But that's to come; that's to look forward to in the next book.
As for our sweet Gavin, that boy's got more secrets than a vault full of safety deposit boxes, and I want to know all of them. It's pretty obvious from the start that he doesn't stand a chance against Dixie Lark, and the fight is out of him before the battle has even begun. But what's a guy to do when he's made a sacred promise to his best friend, and both the girl who's after him and her big brother are the only real family he has? Everything Gavin has is tied to these two people, and if he loses them, he's at zero. Sure, he wants to wave one of his catchy drummer t-shirts in surrender, but at what cost?
Then there's Dallas, and every time I think of him, I picture him pushing Dixie and Gavin, one hand on each of their backs, while they dig in their heels to stop. Dallas is ready to make it, to go big in the world of country music or to go home, but damn if he can keep Gavin and Dixie in line. His life is one big hurry-up-and-wait situation with these two, and every time they were late or absent or mentally/emotionally absent, I felt for him. It's a wonder that poor boy has any hair left with as much time as he spends around Gavin and Dixie. They want to make it too, and more than that, they don't want to let Dallas down, but staying focused is not a strong suit for either of them. Dallas must feel like he's herding cats everywhere he goes.
Then there's Papa, who we really only meet in remembrances but who holds a large space in the story. He's the foundation for Dallas and Dixie, though I think more for Dixie, and to an extent for Gavin, as well. Papa introduced them all to music, and he's the reason all of them have chosen this road less traveled. He gave them all this gift of music when they needed it most, and these were three kids who needed an outlet. Every time Dixie thought of him, I wanted to hug him, to sit on his porch and listen to him tell stories. The foundation he and his wife created for these three kids leads me to another thing I love about Ms. Quinn.
I love the questions she raises about home and family. What is a home and what is a family? Is home a physical place or the people you call family, wherever they may be? And what makes a family? Is family an accident of birth or can you choose them? In Leaving Amarillo, we have a family, some of them connected by blood, some by love, loyalty and time; and home may be the place that when you have to go there, they have to take you in, but it may be something a little harder to define. I love watching these characters figure it out. What do I do, where do I go, who or what is more important? Can I embrace the "I" in family and will other people understand that and still love me? Should I give up what I want so someone I love can have what they want? These are tough questions, and they're the tough questions that we all live with every day. They're real, and watching Caisey Quinn's characters tease these knots apart is worth every second.
These three characters are chasing their dreams, together as three, as twos, and as individuals, and I can't wait to see where the questions and their many possible answers will take them. This book will make you remember what it feels like to dream, to want something you're afraid you can't live without and about finding the courage to go get it. In life, one choice leads to another, until sometimes you're on a road you never imagined, but do all roads lead home? Should they? Do you want them to or is there another home waiting to be found? What's the price of a dream and are you willing to pay it and risk the fallout? Langston Hughes once asked, "What happens to a dream deferred?" What, indeed.
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