Last year, Kayla’s world imploded. Her beloved father died, leaving her alone with a narcissistic mother who is quick to criticize her daughter’s appearance. During her winter break from college, Kayla’s dangerous obsession with losing weight begins.
Kayla feels like her world changes for the better overnight. Being skinny seems to be the key to the happiness she has desperately been seeking. Her mother and friends shower her with compliments, telling her how fantastic she looks. Kayla is starving, but no one knows it.
Cameron Bennett explodes into Kayla’s life. He’s sexy and kind—he has every quality she has been looking for in a guy. As Cameron grows closer to Kayla and learns of how far she’s willing to go to stay thin, he becomes desperate to save her.
Kayla’s struggles with anorexia and bulimia reach a breaking point and she is forced to confront her body image issues in order to survive. She wonders if Cameron could be the one to help heal her from the pain of her past.
Heather Topham Wood: I was about to start the last book in my paranormal romance series when I was struck with this idea about a girl who falls in love for the first time while simultaneously suffering from an eating disorder. I wanted to document not only Kayla’s struggles with her weight, but how complicated it can get when you’re trying to hide this secret from the people you love. I also have been interested in writing a book set in college for a while now. As part of my own college experience, extreme dieting was something that came up often.
Romance Addict-K: When I saw the dedication, my heart melted a bit. “To the girls who’ve never felt beautiful.” What made you want to write a book for these girls?
Heather Topham Wood: I was one of those girls for a very long time. Like Kayla, I’ve done harmful things to lose weight, things I’m not proud of. Writing the book brought up a lot of old feelings and this was one of the hardest things about finishing the novel. I know it may not be a subject every one will feel comfortable reading, but if it touches even one person, I’m happy.
Romance Addict-K: One thing I really liked about this main character, Kayla, was her determination, in the end, to work out this huge problem for herself and on her own. Very often in romantic books, a man is rushing in to save the heroine; in this case, Cameron was absolutely willing (and trying) to do that, but Kayla took things into her own hands. Was it important for you to have a strong, female character?
Heather Topham Wood: I’m so glad you asked that: absolutely! Cameron wants to fix Kayla and she tries to let him. His efforts fail miserably because she only goes to therapy to appease him and not because she’s actually ready to get better. Although it kills her to risk her relationship with him, she knows that the only way she can fix her problems is to rely on her own inner strength. It may seem more romantic for the man to come in and save the heroine, but it’s not the type of message that I wanted the book to send.
Romance Addict-K: Maybe it’s just me, but I noticed that this book is female heavy, meaning that most of the characters are women. Looking back, I can see that it is women that drag Kayla down (though she lets it happen), and in the end, it is women who help her pick herself back up. You go into the whole concept of beauty in our society, the pressure women face concerning weight and the concept of beauty, and I think this idea of women building each other up and tearing each other down is intriguing and very relevant. Can you say something about your feelings on this? Is this a topic you consciously wrote about?
Heather Topham Wood: I used my own observations about how many women treat each other to shape the story. I was especially interested in exploring the mindset of the Pro-Ana group that Kayla gets involved with later in the story. If you ever want a sleepless night, then I suggest you visit some of the Pro-Ana forums boards and see how disturbing some of the interactions are. I’ve seen girls post their sizes and get berated by strangers and called “fat pigs” and that they should lose weight because they are “disgusting and lazy.” This is an extreme example, but distorted ideas about beauty in society are also prevalent even in every day interactions. In the book, Kayla admits that she was never one of the innocents—she would judge other girls with her friends about who gained and lost weight over school breaks.
However, there’s also something magical about the power of female friendships. When you have the right friends in your life, they can make you feel like you’re absolutely beautiful even on the days when your confidence is broken.
Romance Addict-K: I thought your portrayal of eating disorders in The Disappearing Girl was right on. Yes, appearance played an important role but control and unexpressed grief were at its core. Do you hope that Kayla can serve as an example to girls and women?
Heather Topham Wood: I hope so. I didn’t want to teach a lesson about eating disorders by having Kayla die. I’ve read so many books where one of the main characters dies because of their anorexia or bulimia. Of course, that’s a possibility with an eating disorder, but I wanted to share a story where a girl gets better by not only reconciling her issues with eating, but also dealing with the underlying cause of the eating disorder, which in Kayla’s case was her grief over the death of her father.
Thank you so much for your interview! These questions were incredibly thought provoking!
I was sprawled across Cameron’s couch. Minutes earlier, he had come up next to me and tried to coax me to dinner. I waved him off, but he was persistent. He had spent the past hour cooking spaghetti and meatballs while I was a motionless blob on his couch. The least I could do was eat, but at that second I’d rather have traveled to the depths of Hell than put food in my body.
My funk had worsened since Lila left to return home the previous weekend. I missed her fiercely. She had left on a sour note, her disapproval over my diet still clear in the tightness of her expression. “Think about what Dad would say,” she told me. It was a manipulative thing to say and her words haunted me. I didn’t want to think about my father. He was dead; thinking about him only reminded me of the years that stretched ahead of me, where I’d have to endure without him.
I tuned back into Cameron’s words. “Kayla, I’ve been looking forward to having a romantic dinner with you all week. Can you try a little?”
My body felt heavy as I got up from the sofa. If everyone claimed I was so thin, why did I feel so weighted down? I shuffled along behind him as he led me to the table.
It was beautifully set. He had lit a single white candle and positioned it between our place settings. A filled wine glass sat beside a plate covered with steaming hot pasta smothered in marinara sauce with meatballs. Any girl would be thrilled to find her boyfriend had gone to the trouble to be romantic—but I was far from any girl.
I felt myself growing irate as I collapsed into the chair. I wasn’t sure why he couldn’t understand I was trying to avoid fatty foods. Instead of supporting my efforts, my friends and family seemed to be determined to undermine everything I’d done to better myself.
Cameron ate silently for several minutes. My dinner lay untouched, and I felt time slow down as I waited for him to finish. I wasn’t going to be bullied into eating when food was the last thing I wanted in my body.
His eyes turned cold as he stared at me. “What are you doing? Why haven’t you started eating?”
I was a petulant child, refusing to eat, despite the promises the food in front of me would make me healthy again. I pressed my lips together in a tighter line and crossed my arms over my chest.
Cameron’s temper was building. I could feel the tension in the air. He was showing restraint when all he probably wanted to do was to scream at me for my irrational behavior. His voice was strained. “Kayla, you’ve been here all day and you haven’t eaten a thing …”
My expression was deadly as we locked gazes. “When the hell did it become everyone’s business whether or not I eat? Last time I checked, it was my body.”
I could tell what he was thinking by the way his features twisted. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t the quiet and meek girl he’d been dating. This girl was bitter and wanted to unleash her rage on those around her.
Heather graduated from the College of New Jersey in 2005 and holds a bachelor's degree in English. Her freelance work has appeared in publications such as USA Today, Livestrong.com, Outlook by the Bay and Step in Style magazine. She resides in Trenton, New Jersey with her husband and two sons. Besides writing, Heather is a pop culture fanatic and has an obsession with supernatural novels and TV shows.
https://www.facebook.com/HeatherTophamWood
http://authorheather.com
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/275908.Heather_Topham_Wood
https://twitter.com/woodtop255
Thanks for hosting me today =)
ReplyDeleteThis book sounds wonderful & I am happy it is out there for girls of all ages to read and learn from. I can relate to Kayla in a lot of ways. I am glad there is a positive book that focus's on ED's and is realistic too.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful interview. Thank you both.
(new follower to your blog)